I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am one with the molecules
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
