She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
