my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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