i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
