All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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