Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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