Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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