I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
