she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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