My liver just broke up with me...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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