Pants 0. Shit 1.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
