I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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