butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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