The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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