I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
