Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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