So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I could fuck to npr.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
