he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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