So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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