I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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