He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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