I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Please don't give away my fajitas
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
