It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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