Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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