thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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