i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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