is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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