The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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