***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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