i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
