I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
