You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
