big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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