I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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