I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
