Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
