drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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