Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
