Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
