you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My bed smells like the plague
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
