4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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