mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
