I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize