I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
