we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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