Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
