Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
