so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
