So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
