I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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