hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
