But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
