I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
