i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
