She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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