I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
should my penis look like a turkey
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
