i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
