I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
