You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
