shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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