It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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