have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
