it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
