I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
