Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
