im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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