I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
