we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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