I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
