just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want her autograph on my taint
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize