doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I cannot find my penis.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
