Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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