I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
