physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
