no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
