I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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