Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
