'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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