I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
