Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
